iaremyne.

#loveminusone

What If Girl.

1

I am always going to wonder about your what if girl. 

What if she hadn’t said No to your affection or if you had not changed your mind after?

Would she always hold a special place in your heart; the memory of her a mix of mild curiosity tinged with regret of what could be?

You tell me that I’m being silly. She was the past whilst  I am your present and perhaps, your future. 

You tell me that you love me and I know that to be true. But I can’t help but wonder, would you rather it was her who’s saying those words back to you?

What if this is you settling for second best?

And I just happened to be at the right place, at the right time; barely meeting the minimum requirements but good enough when you turn off all the lights and take off your glasses? 

What if I am merely the consolation prize to your what if girl?

 

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Comments
  1. Hemaavathy Tharmalingam 6th May 2015 on 11:16 pm Reply

    My dearest Mun Yee,
    Our life is made up of all the what ifs in the world. But then, one shall not dwell in them. Once you do, the what ifs will stall you from living. Of course, some way or other, the what ifs could be a guide for us to make a decision. Just a guide and nothing more. Let’s not dwell in them. Take care, love.

  2. sara 7th May 2015 on 7:11 am Reply

    Life will always be filled with what ifs. But dwelling on what ifs poisons the present. Comparison kills happiness. Shrug off the past, hold your present gently in your hands. Look at uts contours, hold it up against the light, nurture it. Live in light and love!

  3. Troy 11th May 2015 on 7:48 pm Reply

    Hello how are you recovering from an awful flight to sydney :(( I sincerely hope that the awful and horrible passenger who has absolutely no idea of hygiene hasn’t put you off our wonderful city Sydney :)))
    My apologies if that person has even worse is if it is an Australian Lol really disgusting thats a 7.5hour flight I think, I recently arrived in Australia Sydney from San Franciso so I also had a situation of a loud traveller however not as bad as your experience.
    Sorry for any mistakes, I just had to send you a message whilst on the train home reading your article.

    • Dazza 11th May 2015 on 8:26 pm Reply

      Same here, I too just read your letter and I had to reply. I hope Australia has been that good to you that you’ve already forgotten about the trip over.

      That’s the one bad thing about cheap air travel, the feral people who could never afford air travel at home are now out and about.

  4. Kent 11th May 2015 on 10:38 pm Reply

    There is no need to wonder about the ‘what-if’ girl.

    From my experience, If a relationship was and has ended – there is no point in getting back together. There is always a reason for a breakup – whether it be due to personalities changing, finding a nuance about the partner or even just feelings wavering.

    Trying to make things work once one person has checked out of the relationship will just extend how much hurt you will feel from when you truly do need to rip off the bandaid.

    One would still care about their previous partners because of all of the things that they experienced and went through. But that caring feeling does change from one of intimacy to a platonic one.

    To settle for second best would only happen if that person has not checked out of that relationship.. and doesn’t genuinely care for and about you.

    That being said, quite a thought-provoking piece. :)

  5. WJ 12th May 2015 on 3:02 am Reply

    Yep, you would be second best. My best has come and gone.

  6. Rashid Hamid 12th May 2015 on 3:15 am Reply
  7. Gerard Choo 12th May 2015 on 5:00 am Reply

    dont be silly. all the comments from all over the world on your letter to stinly feet say how pretty and clever u are.

  8. Donnie 12th May 2015 on 6:18 am Reply

    My wife of 17 years left, after spending a decade of paranoia about my What If Girl. The sad thing is, I was going nowhere.

  9. Clive 12th May 2015 on 6:53 am Reply

    Hey mate! love your letter to the passenger behind you! very cleaver well done! cheers

  10. A C 12th May 2015 on 7:52 am Reply

    Your letter to passenger 15A slayed me. The article never said if the letter was actually delivered to said passenger.

    I wholly relate to this what if girl post, minus glasses.

  11. E-Han 12th May 2015 on 9:47 am Reply

    Hi, I would like to ask, why did you rather endure the ‘putrid smell of death and decay’ for 8 hours, took a photo and wrote an ‘open letter’ than to ask the passenger to put her feet back? I think that was really stupid and really cowardy.

  12. Jowee 12th May 2015 on 10:29 am Reply

    Oh wow… ouch, this really struck a chord with me. Thank you for your courage in writing the things that others would not.

  13. Fabian 12th May 2015 on 10:46 am Reply

    Hey munyee :)

    Life’s sometimes not really too lucky to always settle for what we term ‘best’.

    We’ll make improvisations and improvements along the way, and ain’t it something relationships should be about?

    I really hope you’d be blessed enough to find ‘the one’ one blissful day. At this moment, I’m sharing the same struggle as you too. It’s as if the pain from falling out of love, plus the desire for a soul mate are pretty maturing experiences.

    You better Jiayou too. Don’t ever give up on finding the one.

    And remember, the moment he chose you, you became ‘the best’ already. View yourself as anything less and it’ll be something of a short change.

    Peace out. XD

  14. Kevin 12th May 2015 on 1:21 pm Reply

    Your letter to the airline passenger that’s getting so much attention was hilarious! The bit about the “anus of Satan” had me burst out laughing as I read it at work. I’m sorry your flight was so horrible, but thanks for writing–and writing SO WELL– about your misadventure.

    Interestingly, I’ve happened upon your blog before and considered following it, so…what better time than now.

    Hope to become acquainted.

    By the way, I’m frankly surprised you’re single. You’re not only talented but very lovely.

  15. J T M 12th May 2015 on 6:52 pm Reply

    I’d like to respond to your letter – by email.

  16. THOMAS L BRAKELINE 12th May 2015 on 9:08 pm Reply

    waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! my fellow passenger on an airplane offends me! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! i can’t frigging well tell this passenger about it in real time! i gotta do it online! waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

    FUCKING CRY BABY

    • Jenny 13th May 2015 on 9:03 am Reply

      you must be 12

      • Jo 13th May 2015 on 9:42 am Reply

        I think he is 8. Lol!

    • Antoni Michalou 13th May 2015 on 3:38 pm Reply

      You Obviously have NEVER EVER lived in an Asian country before & how certain types of class of Asians react to this sort of thing happening in different ways: #1- Some (25%) the lower form of class of Asian citizen WILL VENT their displeasure directly at that person(s) & there MIGHT EVEN be a Brue-Haha on the plane, train, bus cruise ship …I’ve seen it happen MANY A TIME on trains & planes in different parts of Asia BUT mostly in China, Taiwan, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia, , & less likely in Korea & Japan…..& then some 25% Will ask politely yet directly to the person(s) to PLEASE STOP what there doing or they’ll contact the flight attendant or personnel on board ‘& they’ll solve the problem leave it at that….& 50% won’t say a word to them & JUST DUMMY UP in fear of pissing them off or starting an open altercation with them ….something they don’t want happening on board their trip as they want to keep face…UNDERTSAND YOU ASSHOLE…NOT like 85% of westerners who’ll start a Bruehaha over something as trivial as Smelly Decaying Foot funguloided feet resting on the window sill & the kicking at the back of the seat & loud obnoxious behaviour from a low class bottom feeding immature degenerate of a passenger…..& I’m sure you’d not of thought of just telling her to call the flight attendant to take care of the situation & plus the fact is Ms Lau is a woman & is a passive individual & not some Schoolyard Bully like perhaps yourself judging by your comment …I hope I run intio your Panzy & or Candy-ASS when I visit my cousins there this summer & see how you react to me when you’re being an ASS somewhere in public & somebody calls out “Shut up & sit down A-hole or Stop being a child CHILD & shut ur Hole” …remember those words I use them everytime around Caucasians,,, & lets see what you do after…think you’ll JUST DUMMY UP & wont MAN UP AT ALL ! ! !

  17. M. L. Taylor 12th May 2015 on 9:20 pm Reply

    Ms. Lau Munyee, you should never ever be anyone’s “consolation prize”.

    You deserve to be someone’s one and only.

    Please be patient.

    Men are…well, we are a bit dim.

    It might take him a while to find you…and a while longer to KNOW you are the one.

    But imagine how fortunate he will be when he does.

    (Also, on the extremely remote chance I will ever be sitting behind you on a long flight on an aeroplane, I hereby pledge to you that I will not take off my shoes, give you a back massage, or throw random things at your head. Great letter, Passenger 14A. Great letter.)

    • Antoni 15th May 2015 on 10:26 am Reply

      M. L. Taylor I just have something to say to you about your little passage you wrote saying”Men are…well, we are a bit dim.It might take him a while to find you…and a while longer to KNOW you are the one.But imagine how fortunate he will be when he does.” … I don’t know if you READ the NEWS storyline before you read her blog letter (& noticed 85% of women usually don’t do that READ first THOROUGHLY before reacting) just something you should REALLY know , you should know Ms. Lau is just 24 yrs old , so the men she’s dating or have dated are probably in her age range (22-28) & in this day & age with people MORE FOCUSED on their Careers orif teir in College /University their Studies) RATHER than their personal relationships with their BF’s or GF’s & surely NOT thinking Marriage (UNLESS the GF gets KNOCKED UP, then he BETTER do the RIGHT THING & pledge his hand & marriage to her! ! ! ) BUT EVEN then that’s not good enough for 65% of women .I call this the ” Barefoot, Lazy & Maternity Dressed Wife” These type of women I’ve encountered in my life so far who JUST want IT ALL , looking for an ALREADY RICH WEALTHY Man & secure RICH husband funded Bank account , NEVER having to work a day in their miserable lives & just pop children out for him & have the Filipina/Indonesian/Malaysian/Vietnamese Nanny raise their children as she goes out shopping the Louis Vuitton, Versace, DG. Gucci, Coach Stores OR be sitting in front of the TV sipping Gourmet Tea or Coffee & have out their stolen husbands Gold, Platinum Cards (or if he’s REALLY LOADED Sky’s the limit Onyx card ) & ready to buy thing off the Shopping channel. Then there’s the 10% women whom I encountered (& have 5 of my 6 children I’ve now) soooooo infused OR drowning in their careers that they don’t want to be married but want to continue their career paths with ONLY a casual BF & NOT husband . & then there’s the 15% of women (I’ve met BUT one ONLY so far ) that are the ones who work have their careers BUT want to settle down & marry a GOOD MAN & when she’s pregnant STOP working have his children & raise them until their old enough they can care for themselves & the go back to work too .

      Now men USUALLY DON’T want to settle down ()especially in their early to mid 20’s) until their either established themselves in a good paying job or in the lucrative business world . Then maybe in their late 20’s(28 or 29 ) or WELL into their 30;s (33-36) when they’ve acquired & established the first then they want to get the secondary assets needed like the city/country/summer homes & holiday homes in exotic destinations , cars, motorcycles boats Seadoos,, then think about marriage & being with ONE woman the rest of their lives

  18. Duck Dodgers 12th May 2015 on 9:38 pm Reply

    What if. What if the sky should fall tomorrow? Munyee if that was a genuine blog post and not simply “artistic” filler, then it was hyper-dramatic and redundant. Write from the heart. Guys are probably beating down your door so let’s try less of this pseudo-intellectual emo pondering and more of the stuff you genuinely enjoy, such as taking pictures of your food at the expensive restaurants you frequent, and pumping out mirror selfies of your outfits before you go out on the town to make your next mistake

  19. Ulric 12th May 2015 on 9:41 pm Reply

    Hello, I would like to know if the passenger behind you was chinese?

  20. Mike C. 12th May 2015 on 9:55 pm Reply

    I did not know you until I read your letter about the stinky feet on the flight. I find that you are just so beautiful and gorgeous. I think I should let you know that you are one of the pretty girls I have seen.

  21. Malaysian 12th May 2015 on 10:04 pm Reply

    Hi !
    New Zealand Herald “To date, I have yet to regain full mobility of the lower half of my body. But since I am single, I suppose I don’t have much use for it anyway,” the writer, who runs blog iammunyee.com, quipped in the letter.”
    I hope you are the person this news portal is referring to. Anyways, the flight will be more than 10 hours’ long. I admire your patience putting up with an uncivilized passenger. But the next time, just tell the air steward or stewardess to tell that passenger if you feel rude and frightened to do so. And change your seat after getting the permission from the steward or stewardess. Most passengers are civilized. It is those few who hardly fly or who flies the first time or who have flown so many times that they get fed up. But since most passengers are civilized, even the few unruly ones should have the respect to be civilized. And we must never forget that probably they are mentally unsound. The real psychiatric problems or not the ones that we love to joke about. You never know. Before I end, I search the internet about you because I am not sure if you are that person as there are two different internet address. iaremunyee. iammunyee. I watched a video on toastmaster and that speaker looks like you in the photo. Again I am not sure. There is another one but she looks more like a teenager. So I hope I am writing to the correct person. If not, thousands of apologies. The news portal does not have a comment section for me to comment directly.

  22. Adrian McGivern 13th May 2015 on 12:37 am Reply

    Beautifull poem :-D

  23. Joe 13th May 2015 on 8:32 am Reply

    Why do you post your life on the Internet? Do you think people care? You are a narcissist who needs help.

    • @BruvvaPete 13th May 2015 on 1:24 pm Reply

      You felt the need to take time out of your busy schedule to rain on someone else’s parade. Good for you, sir.

  24. Drew 13th May 2015 on 8:55 am Reply

    I love you

  25. DISGRUNTLEDREADER 13th May 2015 on 8:57 am Reply

    Hi

    It is most unfortunate that you have to go through the unpleasant flight from Singapore to Australia. Your post might be entertaining (have you actually smell Satan’s anus????) though I am certainly not amused by such act. The point is why you don’t even have the guts to talk directly to passenger 15A but instead decided to whine when you were no longer the flight. This demonstrates clearly that you are just another attention-seeker. Well, not surprising since a scan of this page reveals that you are just into writing. Want to have a quick rise to fame?? Yes, you may for now but trust me you will soon be forgotten even before you realise it. Most readers on the The Independent UK are already flabbergasted by this cowardly act of yours. So speak up and confront the passenger (if you encounter another) on your return journey from Aussie. Otherwise, have a safe trip!

    • Antoni Michalou 13th May 2015 on 3:37 pm Reply

      You Obviously have NEVER EVER lived in an Asian country before & how certain types of class of Asians react to this sort of thing happening in different ways: #1- Some (25%) the lower form of class of Asian citizen WILL VENT their displeasure directly at that person(s) & there MIGHT EVEN be a Brue-Haha on the plane, train, bus cruise ship …I’ve seen it happen MANY A TIME on trains & planes in different parts of Asia BUT mostly in China, Taiwan, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia, , & less likely in Korea & Japan…..& then some 25% Will ask politely yet directly to the person(s) to PLEASE STOP what there doing or they’ll contact the flight attendant or personnel on board ‘& they’ll solve the problem leave it at that….& 50% won’t say a word to them & JUST DUMMY UP in fear of pissing them off or starting an open altercation with them ….something they don’t want happening on board their trip as they want to keep face…UNDERTSAND YOU ASSHOLE…NOT like 85% of westerners who’ll start a Bruehaha over something as trivial as Smelly Decaying Foot funguloided feet resting on the window sill & the kicking at the back of the seat & loud obnoxious behaviour from a low class bottom feeding immature degenerate of a passenger…..& I’m sure you’d not of thought of just telling her to call the flight attendant to take care of the situation & plus the fact is Ms Lau is a woman & is a passive individual & not some Schoolyard Bully like perhaps yourself judging by your comment …I hope I run intio your Panzy & or Candy-ASS when I visit my cousins there this summer & see how you react to me when you’re being an ASS somewhere in public & somebody calls out “Shut up & sit down A-hole or Stop being a child CHILD & shut ur Hole” …remember those words I use them everytime around Caucasians,,, & lets see what you do after…think you’ll JUST DUMMY UP & wont MAN UP AT ALL ! ! !

      • DISGRUNTLEDREADER 13th May 2015 on 7:21 pm Reply

        Haha, I have lived in Asia for more than 20 years. Mr Antoni Michalou. I am currently in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Please don’t talk about how cultured you are compared to me. Clearly, Most Asian countries are introvert societies and also a high context culture (look at Edward T Hall’s description on this). Don’t tell me this is about certain classes here and their way in reacting. But does it mean that one should just keep quiet for the entire flight and do nothing. My reading from Ms Lau’s letter clearly demonstrated that she never attempted to defuse the situation by talking to the stewardess etc. YOU PAID FOR THE FLIGHT TICKET OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AT LEAST POLITELY ASK FOR THE DISTURBANCE TO STOP!!! Why are you saying westerners will just bruehaha over an issue when it is their right to make a polite request instead of just keeping quiet. So can’t Asians do the same and exercise their rights in a civilised manner??? Why are we condoning a behaviour of just keeping quiet and only complain when something happened??? Not sure where you got your data but I will not dispute with you on that part. So stop being judgmental and accuse me of being a bully etc. This is not about starting a fight but just exercising your right. Mr. Antoni Michalou. Do other passengers a favour and act on the spot instead of writing when the responsible party might not be able to read at all!

        Best,
        DISGRUNTLED READER

        • Antoni 15th May 2015 on 10:36 am Reply

          Then you should’ve understand A WHOLE LOT MORE that perhaps she FALLS into the category of Asian who are the ‘STRONG SILENT TYPE” becuz I could tell this as I read it & can EASLILY tell by her letter , & you should of too. Perhaps u JUST NEED to READ the letter AGAIN & MORE S L O W L Y .. I’ve lived in Asia over 25 years doing my businesses CLEARLY she falls into the Silent Type …End of discussion

          • DISGRUNTLEDREADER 15th May 2015 on 3:37 pm

            That’s the reason why we need to change this!!! Endorsing this letter is like condoning the behaviour of passenger 15A. No doubt she has a very good writing skills but we need to make people (Asians in particular) to be able to speak up in such situation. Sorry but I can’t endorse this kind of act behind one’s back

          • MISSBELACAN 7th June 2015 on 11:35 am

            Oh for fucks sake will you guys please lighten the fuck up and stop pretending you know us better than we know ourselves.

  26. @BruvvaPete 13th May 2015 on 1:23 pm Reply

    What if you were always the one?

    • mauibeach 14th May 2015 on 7:55 pm Reply

      Best reply yet :)

  27. Mo 13th May 2015 on 4:07 pm Reply

    Hahaha just read the article about your flight with the passenger from hell. Just wanted to say, thanks for the giggs you made my night :)

  28. Ken 13th May 2015 on 6:47 pm Reply

    Loved reading about your sickbag note! Ive had a few flights like it myself. Power to your pen!

    Regards,

    (England)

  29. GW 13th May 2015 on 9:02 pm Reply

    Hey..my thoughts on the what-if girl (or guy)..

    My humble opinion is if someone was in a committed relationship and then ended it.. I guess more or less some residual feelings remain, be it fond memories, resentment, It’s probably also normal that somewhere in their heart there lies a little corner that has a space for them. But it doesn’t have to mean that he’s missing her or something. I guess it’s just you once loved this person for such a long time or with such intensity and it’s difficult to wipe your memory completely.

    But building the next relationship is the forward step to take and if you just continue to be yourself (don’t second guess yourself), love the person like you do and grow together, it will blossom to be a great relationship. He may find closure for the last failed relationship, that he learnt something out of it and led to this relationship.

    Anyway. you are beautiful and smart. You are the what-if girl; the ‘what if i could date her’ girl.

    Continue to be yourself, write more stunning pieces and share the love.

  30. Nicole R. 14th May 2015 on 1:54 am Reply

    Thank you Munyee Lau for the hilarious letter you wrote from the seat of 14A. It was brilliant and I can relate. I’m off to visit family in Germany and I’m a bit nervous now. LOL Keep up the great humor. Cheers! :-)

  31. Back2usradio 14th May 2015 on 3:56 am Reply

    Your letter totally rocked!! You made my day. Keep writing!!

  32. Worrick Russell 14th May 2015 on 4:47 am Reply

    Next time try to come to Toronto, I am sure your trip will be more pleasant

  33. Sly 14th May 2015 on 9:06 am Reply

    Hi Alicia in wonderland, I thought I was reading a horror story.But don’t it was just another passage in our lives. From many many we have to live.And don’t listen to the freaks who doesn’t have a proper life and they want to live somebody else.Just grabe the best from every comment and keep learning. And about your friend from 15A I really can’t say nothing because I wasn’t there to smell the new fragrance from Channel .My best wishes and god bless you.

  34. Mushi 14th May 2015 on 1:07 pm Reply

    This post just described the exact situation I was in, a few months back. Except that this situation was the prelude to the “what if” that came true eventually. It was horribly torturous and a whole big mess that I tried to fix everything on my end before I got away from it all. Even now, there’s still lingering traces that come to mind and when I accidentally meet that person (whom I so desperately try to avoid, lest I end up ripping him to pieces) I can’t help but remember what a despicable person he is because there were darker secrets that were brewing beneath what I thought was just an issue between 2 people. I’m just thankful that I confronted him and then stayed away.

  35. Dalston 14th May 2015 on 3:04 pm Reply

    :)

  36. RG 14th May 2015 on 7:39 pm Reply

    You are too concerned about what ifs.

    Right here, right now. You are what’s important to me. You are my chosen.

    In time, I will know if you are my everything.

    I should ask you back. Am I your everything? If not, let me be nothing.

  37. James P. 14th May 2015 on 8:53 pm Reply

    I read your flying in hell article, & I loved it!!!! I can truly relate & empathize, from a recent flight I had on Southworst Airlines. And BTW, You are NOT a second choice or a settlement. You are very funny, beautiful and a very talented photographer. Don’t settle, U deserve the best & a man that will constantly remind you of that, and do his very best to show you how wonderful you are!!!!!! We will probably never meet & that’s a shame because You are my “What If Girl”!!!! Best Wishes & I hope true love from a good man finds your heart!!!! James

  38. Candace 14th May 2015 on 11:31 pm Reply

    Dear Mun Yee. I read your article about passenger 15A. Well written and so true. I have experienced some rude behavior on my many trips to visit my sister who lives in Florida. The worst, Christmas time when a man decided behind me to open up the smelliest garlic sandwich like he was sitting in his dining room all by himself. The plane stunk for 2 1/2 hours and I ate every breathe mint I had to try and mask the smell while using tissues to cover my nose….keep up your writing. Priceless, but a big smile on my face.

  39. Xiang Han 15th May 2015 on 2:03 am Reply

    It’s probably fate that brought me to know your existence, I guess I would be the many by now, the ones that know you after your viral post on your flying experience with AirAsia. I’m impressed with your writings and I really do enjoy reading them. Whatever you’re going through, be strong girl. Time may/may not heal all wounds but it will definitely lessen the pain. Keep the writing going man! Live strong.

    Han

  40. Vern 15th May 2015 on 2:50 pm Reply

    What if you’re the what if girl to someone else?
    What if you will never be merely a prize to that someone?
    What if you’re out of reach because you’re too busy being second best?
    What if, your best is yet to come?

  41. Jojo Joget 16th May 2015 on 12:12 am Reply

    … the sky is bleeding crimson and gold. But I cannot turn to gaze at this everyday miracle …

    That paragraph was just pure gold!!! Thanks for giving me endorphins-filled cardiovascular exercise for 5 minutes.

  42. Bob Beatie 29th May 2015 on 8:51 pm Reply

    What about the worries of my being the what if guy. Does it make a tie, Do they cancel each other? Is this the greatest luck we both will have have…finding each other?

  43. MISSBELACAN 7th June 2015 on 11:39 am Reply

    After reading your most recent post, I know (and you know yourself) that you are way too good for this guy to wipe his arse on. One day you might find a guy who actually gives you the love you deserve. If not, no biggie- No one can love you better than you can love yourself, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to not accept less than what you deserve. You are worth so much more.

  44. Stuart Danker 2nd February 2016 on 10:06 pm Reply

    Stumbled across your page, and realised that we tend to write the same genre. Loving your voice and style, and I can feel the emotions in you work. Keep writing!

  45. To The Other Woman. | iaremunyee 1st September 2016 on 2:04 pm Reply

    […] It was my demons who convinced me that he would always look at you as the girl who got away and […]

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