iaremyne.

#loveminusone

Token.

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I am standing in a line of greens and blues.

It’s moving but I know it’s never going to be my turn.

 

Because although

 

I am the 3am phone calls, the tear-streaked confessions and angry monologues,

the guardian of secrets, the healer of wounds, the wisest of sages,

I am merely a placeholder until someone better comes along.

I am your crutch, your splint; when someone reaches in, cracks your ribs and breaks your heart,

but only ever a temporary importance, until your wounds scab over and your bones mend.

I am the first person you run to but never the one you choose.

I am the one who fixes you but never good enough to make you stay.

 

I don’t understand,

why you insist on finding someone who loves you the way I already do,

why you keep looking for what’s already in front of you,

why you would give everyone a chance but me.

I know love is blind but Cupid, did you get her in the eyes?

Is that why she doesn’t see me?

 

I thought I’d let you know that I am tired,

of being good but not good enough,

of being close but never close enough,

of always being in the blind spot of your love.

Tired of making you my forever when I am your never.

 

Every time I want to give up playing this game that I cannot win, you keep offering me token after token, asking me to

insert credit try again, insert credit try again, insert credit try again

 

I thought I’d let you know that I don’t want to play anymore.

 

 

Let me in or let me go. 

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Comments
  1. Hemaavathy 19th March 2015 on 10:04 pm Reply

    I imagine a few different situations while reading Token. The power and beauty of writing – broadens your thinking capabilities.

  2. Val 20th March 2015 on 5:55 am Reply

    Nice!

  3. xy 21st March 2015 on 10:17 pm Reply

    I’ve been trying for a long time to pen this feeling down but couldn’t, yet you did it making it look easy.

    Don’t give up on being a writer alright? I’ll be following you

    • iaremunyee 22nd March 2015 on 1:03 am Reply

      Hi xy,

      Thank you for being so kind. I am sure you can write equally as beautiful. Don’t give up.

  4. Wei Loon 22nd March 2015 on 1:17 am Reply

    ‘let me in or let me go’, just couldn’t control the tears reading this, feeling the pain.

  5. Nix 23rd March 2015 on 2:13 pm Reply

    I’ve been your silent reader for quite some time now and this blog really had me in tears. You’re gifted in writing. Please do write more for your dear readers!

    • iaremunyee 23rd March 2015 on 10:39 pm Reply

      Dear Nix

      I am undeserving of your kind comment. Thank you for taking the time to leave a message.

      You move me. Thank you for reading.

  6. Zulaikha 9th April 2015 on 2:15 am Reply

    I stumbled upon your blog just a few minutes ago and have gone though a few of your recent posts.
    Your words are so perfectly placed, so accurate, every one of them. Never have I read anything so real; so raw. Please keep on writing. Do not stop. And keep strong, love. Wishing you the best in life.

  7. Sim 9th April 2015 on 8:45 am Reply

    Keep up the good work, Mun Yee. Super talented!

  8. ML 9th April 2015 on 9:22 am Reply

    I have yet to find it within me to let the person i am with now go.
    “you keep offering me token after token, asking me to
    insert credit try again, insert credit try again, insert credit try again”
    That what he does to me.

    As cheesy as it sounds, you give me strength Munyee.

  9. Christy 9th April 2015 on 11:17 am Reply

    Your work is so emotionally powerfully. I love it! Don’t give up. God is with you through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, so keep on striving for His glory!

  10. pearly 9th April 2015 on 12:09 pm Reply

    “insert credit try again”. painfully beautiful. I wish you happiness.

  11. Rico 11th April 2015 on 7:04 am Reply

    Every single word resonates.
    Just that in my case, it is the reversal scenario. I’m the guy who is never good enough. The guy who is always waiting even though he should have given up. :'(

  12. Mystlenn 14th April 2015 on 8:22 pm Reply

    Your article touches a few raw nerves. Thanks for putting them so beautifully into words. I feel you and i know how painful it is. Thank you, really.

  13. Steph 12th May 2015 on 7:25 pm Reply

    I relate to this so much. Love is so so hard.

  14. Disqualified. | iaremyne. 30th September 2016 on 12:39 am Reply

    […] the right of way, the amount of effort I’ve put in, or the fact that I’ve stood in line for so […]

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