I know that I should be more grateful.

I know that I am blessed beyond measure to be able to get on a big jet plane and travel halfway around the world.

To be able to experience so many firsts – like freshly fallen snow, skiing and polite commuters.

But in the midst of all that;

I still miss you in the peal of lovers’ laughter, in the spaces between my fingers, at the stroke of midnight.

That when I was at the airport, all the memories of you and the stories you used to tell me about flying came flooding back like a tsunami for my unprepared heart – I damn near drowned.

I know I should be more grateful,

but all this means nothing without you.

_{I never knew that being lonely could be this painful; 
until you left, I am and it was.}