iaremyne.

#loveminusone

This is How You Will Cheat on Me.

She will be somebody unassuming. Not particularly intelligent or breathtakingly beautiful. Perhaps a colleague who sits across from you whose name you could never remember or someone from your peripheral group of friends, an acquaintance.

Not the life of the party neither the wallflower, but she will catch your attention.

The texting will begin innocently enough. “How was  your day?”, “What was for dinner?”. A sexual innuendo cleverly disguised as a witty joke. A lewd emoticon but no nudes. You have a girlfriend after all, you’d remind yourself. You will stay within the grey area, but you will push and test its boundaries.

You won’t drink the devil’s water but you will dip your feet in.

And you will want more.

 

A haphazard reason clumsily put together – to catch up, to blow off some steam – for a quick dinner or single drink at the bar. She will listen attentively to the things you have told me a million times and laugh at the right moments. This scene has played out before but you are empowered by the change in audience. She will play with her hair and lean towards you. An innocent push or brush of hand.

She will be demure and coy but she will set you on fire.

When you go back with her, the place will be foreign to you. But this different adds to the allure and mystery. There are no fights here, no humdrum routine just to get off. Your excitement will be fuelled by the clumsy fingers ripping the foil packet, the getting lost when you try to map her. And for the next eleven minutes, you will forget the world and who you are.

For the next eleven minutes you will forget me.

 

You will not cheat on me because I wasn’t  good enough. You will not cheat on me because my tits are no longer perky or cellulite pattern my thighs. You will not cheat on me because I wasn’t the trophy girlfriend who rejects your blow job requests or was unsupportive of your dreams.

You will cheat on me because you are the kind of man who cheats.

You will cheat on me because I am no longer shiny and new; when our love no longer burns like the desert wildfire it once was.

You will cheat for the novelty, the thrill of the new. You will cheat for the sneaking around, the web of lies. You will cheat for the flattery you find in a new vagina shaped placeholder. You will cheat on me until the warmth of the first couple of fucks die down and you dull her shine; that as soon as it carries even the slight bit of drudgery or obligation, you will find yourself something new.

 

You will cheat on me with a wisp of your imagination and you will wake up losing your reality.

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Comments
  1. Felix Chia 25th November 2014 on 3:04 am Reply

    I thought you write well because you're gifted with words. You are gifted, your ability to express yourself so beautifully. However the true gift is your ability to immerse your whole self in your thoughts, your imagination, your philosophy and visualize them so clearly. If it's something negative it can be dark, very very dark. Let the light shine in.

    • iaremunyee 3rd December 2014 on 8:54 am Reply

      Dear Felix

      Thank you for your kind words.

      Indeed you're right, the pain fuels the pen. I wish the creative process was less painful I wish that a part of me doesn't die everytime I try to write, but it does and it always will.

      Isn't it ironic that something painful and ugly can produce something beautiful?

  2. Anonymous 26th November 2014 on 2:29 am Reply

    Totally agree with the point you wrote about. Glad you know your worth. God bless you.

  3. Ms C. 10th April 2015 on 12:50 am Reply

    I fully resonated with this post of yours – it captured every paranoia, every insecurity and every nagging suspicion of mine right down to a T. Most of the time, when men display signs of cheating, their modus operandi is the same. We choose to deny, then ignore, until the heart can take no more. Words are cathartic and I’m glad you penned this entry down because it was equally cathartic seeing my feelings translate into words on screen. Thank you and keep on writing, you have an amazing gift with words and I hope you find your Prince soon, where a happy ending awaits.

  4. 9 Crimes. | iaremyne. 17th February 2017 on 5:04 pm Reply

    […] For your crimes were long before you stayed that night. […]

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