Gratitude is a difficult lesson to learn.

Being thankful in the midst of despair is even harder. 

It’s difficult to be grateful; to insist on looking for the silver lining when you’re caught in the middle of a shit storm. 

It’s tempting to crawl into bed, pull the covers over your head and forget the world. It’s easier to run and look for a corner to hide hoping that this all will pass you over, to pretend that ignorance is a strong enough barrier against the realities of the world.

It’s hard to drag yourself out of bed, get dressed and face another day. It’s even harder to hold yourself together when you are stretched thin, pulled taut in all directions, to find a handhold when your foundation fall beneath your feet. 

It’s getting buffeted on all sides and wearing the scars and tears as your makeshift armour, it’s taking control when all you know is out of it, it’s finding the eye of the storm, that peace amidst the noise. It takes swimming, ploughing, pushing your way through even though your limbs are on fire and you are on one last breath.

It means instead of waiting for the winds to die down and for your vessel to find calmer waters, you take control of the wheel and steer yourself. Instead of waiting for that elusive God-given sign, you will draw on that damn silver lining if you have to.

I am thankful for painful truths, for I am spared of the lies.
I am thankful for things that end, for a chance at new beginnings.
I am thankful for things that fall apart, for better things to fall together.
I am thankful for things I have lost, for I found things I never thought I had.
I am thankful for foundations that crack, for the reminder to build stronger ones.
I am thankful for the torrents of emotions; both good and bad, to know that I am alive.
I am thankful for all the moments that made up us, even to the point when it didn’t.

I pray that you would always find something to be thankful for.

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