I spent so many nights convincing a boy to love me.
To affirm that I am:
beautiful. but not in an intimidating way
friendly. but not too friendly that I come across as easy
quirky. but in a unique, rather than a socially awkward kinda way
ambitious. almost stubborn in my goals yet grounded in values and principles
I spent so many nights trying to make a boy laugh.
Did everything I could so that he would relax the velcro of his lips and indulge me with a smile.
I opened up, showed him parts of me usually kept hidden. Laid all my cards on the table, gambled with my heart.
I spent so many nights trying to convince a boy that the amalgamation of all the things that make up me are worth loving.
Today he told me that we are probably better off as friends because
And that’s alright, I suppose.
It stings a little, but not too bad. Nothing that time, alcohol and a healthy dose of self-deprecating humour cannot fix.
So yeah, sure we can be friends.
I just wished you’d told me earlier cause I want my damn sleep cycle back.
If you love someone, let them sleep