iaremyne.

#loveminusone

Should I?

airport
I heard that you are seeing someone new.

And though I know I shouldn’t, against my better judgement I looked her up on Facebook.

 

Ah, a stewardess. Of course.

Funny how you used to tell me that you would never date one because you thought them to to be shallow, materialistic. That you wanted someone who cooks and clean, waits for you at home.

I wonder what she did to make you change your mind.

 

She is pretty. All cheeks and  teeth arranged in a generous smile. She seemed fun, like someone who would put on make up and take the time to dress up when you two go on dates. Religious as well, from the way she peppers every profile picture with a Biblical quote.

I gathered all that I know and don’t know about her and try to arrange these pathetic pieces into the reason why you fell for her, of why you chose her over me.

What has she got that I don’t?

 

So I stand in front of the mirror grabbing this, pinching that. Tried to measure all that I lack. I scrutinise every flaw, catalog my shortcomings.

I wonder why you would rather try with someone else than try again with me.

I wonder if you were as proud of her as you were of me, did you introduce her to your friends or bring her home to meet your mum? I wonder if you took her to the same church, promised her the same things.

I wonder if she reminded you of me, or if she is everything that I am not.

And I wonder if I should…

Should I tell her of your love for bak kut teh and road trips, should I send her the playlist of all our favourite songs?

Should I tell her about how you can’t swim or the story behind that tattoo?

Should I tell her how gentle you are, how sometimes you touch me as if I was made of paper; and other times you were a drowning man and I was your last breath of air?

Should I tell her how cruel you were, the day you walked away without a reason why?

Should I show her the miles of words that I have written for you, the pointless poetry that you have not read?

But I shouldn’t.

For you are no longer the man I fell in love with. I am no longer the same girl whose heart you broke.

I may have known you as well as the back of my hand before, but you’re a stranger now.


His arms wraps around me, enveloping me all at once and breaking my reverie.

What are you doing up so late?

I look in the mirror, at how I fit just right beneath his chin, how my shoulders comes just close enough for his lips to graze; reminded of the dinner we made together, the easy conversations while doing the dishes, hands covered in suds.

I look in the mirror, at my present and possibly my future and saw how selfish I was – to have something so great in front of me and yet I keep looking back at what could have been.

Come back to bed.

I logged out of Facebook, turned off my computer

and leave the past and you behind


I wish you both all the happiness in the world. 

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Comments
  1. Robt Beattie 25th June 2015 on 7:43 pm Reply

    The last four lines are the best revenge. Your a treasure to us all for sharing yourself. Thank you.

  2. morningcloud 25th June 2015 on 7:46 pm Reply

    Hi dear… let it go and move on.

  3. Cammy 25th June 2015 on 7:57 pm Reply

    Let it go and move on… Everything happened for a reason, and he doesn’t deserve your attention anymore. You are a talented girl so for God’s sake please don’t waste your life on a man who turned away from you. The only way to revenge on him is you live better without him.

  4. Lily 25th June 2015 on 8:21 pm Reply

    Just move on already. Stop posting blog posts about him. He doesn’t worth your time. You will find someone better

  5. MOVE ON GIRL 25th June 2015 on 10:32 pm Reply

    Hey! dude is my good friend.cant u just stfu and move on.its a humans nature.everyone loses interest in something after sometime.nothing is permanent.why do u make him look like a bad guy ? u think did everything right? u think u were a perfect gf ? so what if he leaves u without any reason ! u dont own him. yea he may have cheated on u.i mean he did la many times.bet u didnt know.hahaha. point is, move on.u say all the time that ur gonna forget ur past. but u write shit things bout my friend. dont be an asshole. ur just an immatured girl. ur not perfect n he isnt either. but its his life n his decision to dump u. so pls dont expect too much. he is not living his life just to satify u or ur demands or wateva. he wants someone who can satisfy him sexually and emotionally so ur definitely out.period.

    • (T_T) 25th June 2015 on 11:34 pm Reply

      fuck…i feel bad now.im sorry.maybe i was too emotional.ill neva drink n type again.

    • Cheryl 25th June 2015 on 11:36 pm Reply

      OMG did you even read your own words before you hit “Post Comment”? Maybe you feel the need to defend him cos he’s your good friend but put yourself in her shoes, if your gf (provided you actually have one) did the same things this guy did to munyee, how would you feel/react? so it’s funny that she doesn’t know that he cheated on her many times? is it necessary for you to come rub salt on her wound? the real asshole here is your friend who decided to cheat. i wonder how long can this stewardess girl satisfy him sexually and emotionally? hahaha maybe the girl will cheat on him instead with other air stewards/pilots.

      • (T_T) 25th June 2015 on 11:44 pm Reply

        im so damn drunk n i dont know why i keep comin back here.i feel like someone is controlling me.or is it the weed? i dunno ceryl…i just wanna turn back time n post something nice.thank god the ex doesnt know wat im doin or who i am.i didnt realise i created a fake account untill now.I promise u im a gentleman but idk y im typing nonsense.dafak is wrong wit me

    • John Blomfontein 30th June 2015 on 11:38 am Reply

      Hey Mun Yee, if this is the intelligence level of the guy you dated, you really should move on. I’ve seen stupid but this is a whole new level.

  6. Inspired 25th June 2015 on 11:19 pm Reply

    Your Blogs are simply amazing. So much emotions. So much for everybody in the same boat. Thank you.

  7. Marquis g 25th June 2015 on 11:26 pm Reply

    What goes around comes around

  8. Melina Farid 26th June 2015 on 1:32 am Reply

    Love the humour you display in your posts! Especially, the ‘Anus of Satan’ post and your Asian Parents comedy on FB. You are VERY THE GEMPAK!

  9. P 26th June 2015 on 1:57 am Reply

    Hey, loved your work. Such a talented writer.

    (BTW, we have met briefly before. Just maybe some of your faceless readers might have a face after all)

    • iaremunyee 5th July 2015 on 9:32 pm Reply

      Hello!

      Where did we meet? You should have said Hi :)

  10. (T_T) 26th June 2015 on 2:25 am Reply

    munyee, i’m really sorry.I should’nt have said that to a girl.i feel disgusted right now reading back the comments i posted. im really sorry.i was dead drunk. pls don’t forgive me

  11. Hemaavathy Tharmalingam 26th June 2015 on 1:03 pm Reply

    My Dearest MunYee,

    I believe it is normal to stalk someone on social media especially when it is related to the past. And the realisation that comes upon, in which it proves the fact that you are moving on.
    Keep doing what you do best. Take care. =)

  12. Roy 26th June 2015 on 5:32 pm Reply

    And I had the same feeling when I heard she is dating someone now. Well, the points of comparison are not the same obviously, but somehow I just could not resist it. Sometimes it is just so difficult to let go.

  13. Not In The Same Boat 26th June 2015 on 7:05 pm Reply

    I know how you feel not because I’m in your position…but because I’m in his. and I know what you are thinking about him is exactly what she thinks about me.

    I know what she’s thinking..how we used to laugh over the broken English of others, and now I end up falling for someone just like that. I know she’s thinking about how I put religion as a top priority, and now I have another girl who’s even further disconnected from me religiously compared to her. How does that add up? How can I be such a hypocrite? What has she got that I don’t? (somehow boobs always come in the picture here).

    She once said to me…she knows she’s being selfish. Just looking for that one more moment, that one more touch and one more kiss, even knowing it’s not hers to have anymore. I guess that’s what you feel sometimes. And I’ll tell you a secret…I get that feeling too. But then, you are strong like her, and you will learn to stand alone again, and smile even when it’s just you in the mirror.

  14. Darel low 26th June 2015 on 11:58 pm Reply

    I love this

  15. Vern 29th June 2015 on 9:41 am Reply

    Looking forward to posts about your present, and maybe, even your future. :) Don’t let your talent dwell on the past alone.

  16. SK 6th July 2015 on 9:41 am Reply

    Hi Munyee. I can totally feel you.

    I got back together with the guy who 2 years ago left me for another girl, who I can’t seem to erase off my mind though I know he’s not deserving of me. We got back tgt and he seemed rlly sincere in his apology and into me this time round. He told me he will wait for me no matter what. All i took was a talk with him about me feeling insecure because of the past and he just left. He told me we needed time. One month on, he’s with another girl.

    I think old habits die hard and we don’t deserve such guys who don’t appreciate us. Smile and hugs for you.

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