The misadventures of the heart and sometimes, the stomach.


I don’t understand why she is crying.

One minute she was shouting – her hands balled up in fists – and the next thing you know, her face crumpled and leak.

And as she sat there, head bowed, her hair shielding most of her face, I just sat and stared at her. I stared as the tears slid down her face and wet her jeans.

I stared at her futile attempts to blow her nose – she is so beautiful, even when she cries – I just stared. I mean, what else can I do?

If I touch her, that is just going to either make her angry again or cry even harder.

What am I supposed to say? I have said everything that I am supposed to say. What if I say something wrong and it causes another argument?

God, I love her. And I try so hard to show her every day – in my own little way – sure I do not utter those three words all the time, but can’t she see that I do? That by the death of me, I love her.

Maybe I am a bad boyfriend – the way I make her cry so much.

Perhaps she will leave me tonight.


I see him just sitting there.

Even when I shout, even when I cry my eyes out, he just sits there.

Doesn’t he understand what I am trying to tell him? That all I ever wanted was for him to care half as much as I do. All I ever wanted was for him to tell me that he loves me.

Is that so difficult? Why must I go through all this heartache just so that he gets such a simple concept?

I must look like shit, crying with my nose dribbling everywhere.

He sits just 5inches away and yet he doesn’t reach out to hold my hand, he doesn’t take me in his arms and tell me that it is going to be okay. He just sits there.

Perhaps all this while I was wrong, he doesn’t love me the way I thought he did.


Perhaps he will leave me tonight.




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