iaremyne.

#loveminusone

God, I Think You Forgot My Tits.

I think it’s about time to get this off my chest.

This being my chest.

Or the lack thereof.

I guess the reason why I am frustrated is because I expected it to happen. That it was part of the deal of growing up, of being a woman. Menstrual cycles, attraction to the opposite sex, and tits. Sort of a package deal, you know?

But instead, puberty left me with hair in all the wrong places, acne scars and decided that at 12 years old, I was going to be that tall for the rest of my life.

So while the girls in my high school were talking about LaSenza or Victoria Secret and the man-boobs on the boy sitting behind me has grown so close together he’s got a respectable cleavage, I was stuck in my training bra.

 

And I have tried everything. The Chinese believe that eating a lot of papayas would help – I’ve eaten an orchard’s worth. Drink more milk? Wear loose fitting clothes? Done and done.

And all I got from all that effort was an aversion to papayas and a closet full of clothes that don’t fit.

I mean, I am not asking for a set of traffic-stopping headlights. Neither do I want a rack so huge that if I dropped something at my feet, I won’t be able to see or pick them up.

In fact, I don’t even want jugs, I would settle for a medium-sized water-carrying vessel. I don’t want melons, I’d be happy with oranges and apples.

And don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I am unappreciative of what I have. Comparatively, I am luckier than starving children or homeless people. But sitting in my swivel chair with the synthetic breeze coming out of my personal air con and stuffed senseless from lunch, I guess gratitude isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.

And sure they say that what’s on the outside doesn’t matter – that true beauty is skin deep.

Well, I have a gorgeous liver with all the right curves. I don’t see it bringing all boys to the yard.

 

The thing is tits matter.

A guy would notice the colour of your eyes and your personality after he checks you out.

Trust me, if outer beauty did not matter, no one would bother anymore. Women wouldn’t be obsessed with implants, suctions, and fake tans. We would all look down on our cellulite and unshapely thighs and think to ourselves, “Well at least I have a great sense of humour”.

What I am trying to say is that I wouldn’t complain if I can wear dresses with low necklines or skimpy bikinis. I wouldn’t mind if my bra size didn’t share the same labels as an Energizer battery. I wouldn’t take offence if my boyfriend stared down my top and not see my stomach instead.

So don’t get me wrong, I am not unhappy nor ungrateful.

 

I just think that at 21, I shouldn’t be wearing training bras.

Related Post

Comments
  1. Mushakiss 27th November 2012 on 2:51 pm Reply

    Easy .. Get fake ones :D

  2. Fanaticon Seer 9th December 2012 on 6:24 pm Reply

    Dear Mun Yee…I dont think tits should be an issue in your life. I mean God made them for your child..so for the purpose of "male attraction" would defeat that purpose. As a guy myself I notice I only oogle at a girls tits if they are abnormally flashy or revealing but not to the extend making it a requirement that my life partner should have a set of double D's…If it makes you better I let you know a little secret. Guys look at girls legs more than the chest,so get them dress and high heels and start party rocking. Sincerely all the best =)

    • iaremunyee 10th December 2012 on 3:51 am Reply

      Hey you :)

      Thank you for the vote of confidence!

      But fret not, I am not unhappy about my mammary glands. I wrote this piece for humorous purposes, playing off something girls dont really talk about. This piece was written so that I push my comfort zone as a writer and that of the readers as well.

      But you are a dear for these kind words.

      I hope you have a great day and may you see great legs everywhere that you turn. :)

  3. Disclaimer. | iaremunyee. 27th April 2015 on 9:49 pm Reply

    […] it more important for you to know whether I am dissatisfied with my mammary glands or take forever in public […]

  4. Your 7-11 God. | iaremunyee. 27th April 2015 on 9:50 pm Reply

    […] Oh, bless my family, my love life, my studies, my dog, my cat. Bless me with a new house, a bigger car, bigger chest.  […]

  5. Should I? | iaremunyee. 25th June 2015 on 1:20 pm Reply

    […] God, I Think You Forgot My Tits. […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *