iaremyne.

#loveminusone

Falling.

 Go on.

He coaxed with a voice like warmed honey, hand on the small of my back, nudging me closer and closer to the edge.

I asked begged him to please give me some time. It is all going too fast and I really want to do this right.

And no, I wasn’t acting coy. We both know that this isn’t my first time so there’s no need to pretend.

But he insists and I relent.

 

I let him tie me up with promises of being unlike the rest. He bound me with his faux American accent, the way his arms looked in that t-shirt, and a million other cliches.

How could I have known that the rope that was meant for my safety would turn out to be a noose?

 

I leaped off the safety of the ledge. Watched as he grew smaller and smaller in my peripheral vision, not knowing that this was a premonition for what’s to come.

 

Well if it is any consolation, he didn’t lie about this:

It was everything he said it would be: that euphoric high, a brief moment stretched out for infinity, a curious mix of fear and elation.

Love overwhelms overthrows overflows and the only way for you to keep it is to create something tangible, something real.

So you write poems, compose masterpieces, paint and sculpt.

Pathetic attempts to immortalise such a powerful feeling.

 

My heart was pounding in my ears. I wanted to cry out but my voice was stuck in the back of my throat. Blood rushing to my head making my vision spin, turning everything and everyone else a rush of insignificant blur.

But that’s love, isn’t it? It’s the closest to heaven that you can get without dying.

 

At the end of it all, I looked but I couldn’t find you.

Called out your name but only loneliness echoed.

A week of lukewarm responses and disappearing acts that could’ve given Houdini a run for his money later,

You told me that you’d much rather be friends, quoting something along the lines of not wanting to be tied down to someone you barely know.

 

I just don’t think it’s fair that you made me fall just so you could leave me hanging.

I just don’t think it’s right that you trip over my heart with no intention of catching me.

 

I went to Lost and Found with your name on my lips.
But then I remember: You can’t lose what you never had. 

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