Lau Mun Yee
Still lives with parents (and will
remain so until I get this job)
019 *** ****
[email protected]
Personal Statement
I am a graduate from an overpriced private
university. I am flexible, dependable, driven, determined, hardworking, and
passionate, willing to learn, humble, creative, possess initiative and
leadership skills. I am also very good in coming up with adjectives. I am
looking for a full time position in your company where I will be underpaid and overworked.
Education
I have an Arts degree because I am not smart enough to take up engineering or medicine.
I am also terrible in Maths. I major in Psychology because that is as close to a certified doctor as I can get.
I graduated with a 2.5 CGPA because I remember someone telling me that in life, grades don’t matter.
Work Experience
I worked during my summer break because words like ‘holiday’, ‘vacation’ and ‘relax’ do not exist in my Asian parents’ vocabulary. At a publishing house, I stare blankly at a monitor for hours and pretended to work only when a superior walked past. My work hazards include paper cuts and typos.
Achievements
I talk too much. Sometimes I go on stage to do that and people give me certificates and
trophies to shut me up.
I am always the President in clubs/organizations because I enjoy telling people what to do.
I do public confessions of love.
I do flash mobs.
Skills
I cook, clean and chauffeur.
I can Photoshop away pimples and increase girth/cup size.
I write three thousand word essays in one night without any coffee.
I can spend hours online prowling viral videos, stalking my ex’s profile and downloading illegal material.
I almost always find a way to end up in the weird part of Youtube.
I speak fluent sarcasm and English with a fake accent.
I am a people person when intoxicated.
Expected Salary
As a fresh graduate with skills not relevant to the position I am asking for, I will work for no less than RM2500. Trust me. I am Asian and I will always give you best price.
To whom it may concern,
I would be most grateful if you can find a suitable position for me. In fact my parents and the extended family will be grateful too. I can be reached via mobile or email after 12.30 pm. Any time before that I will be sleeping. I am ready to start work after my 21st birthday hangover (December 2012).
I look forward and fervently pray for your favorable reply.
Sincerely,
Lau Mun Yee
![[ dosage ]I am a shot of espresso . but caffeine gives you heart palpitations and makes you jittery . but you don't want to invest the time to learn about the origin of the beans, appreciate the hard work of some third world worker or getting the grind right, pouring and repouring hot water over the same filter paper, taste the subtle undertones or pay attention to the finish the aftertaste the accent of something something . I am a shot of espresso . always too much too fast too hard addictive at first until you realize that the crashes are worse than the spikes unique and coveted until you realize that beneath all this I'm human after all . I am a shot of espresso . but you don't even like coffee. #loveminusone](http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s640x640/e15/17266255_1486589161353752_1454689355682545664_n.jpg?x45166 "[ dosage ]I am a shot of espresso . but caffeine gives you heart palpitations and makes you jittery . but you don't want to invest the time to learn about the origin of the beans, appreciate the hard work of some third world worker or getting the grind right, pouring and repouring hot water over the same filter paper, taste the subtle undertones or pay attention to the finish the aftertaste the accent of something something . I am a shot of espresso . always too much too fast too hard addictive at first until you realize that the crashes are worse than the spikes unique and coveted until you realize that beneath all this I'm human after all . I am a shot of espresso . but you don't even like coffee. #loveminusone")
![[ penance ] "Father forgive those who trespass against us." . . They keep teaching us to forgive those who hurt us. Don't they realize that the most important lesson that we have to learn is how to forgive ourselves? #loveminusone](http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s640x640/sh0.08/e35/16124014_1247610798657553_7325981272189173760_n.jpg?x45166 "[ penance ] \"Father forgive those who trespass against us.\" . . They keep teaching us to forgive those who hurt us. Don't they realize that the most important lesson that we have to learn is how to forgive ourselves? #loveminusone")
![[k a r m a ]I am in between this space between love and hate, between wanting time to heal all wounds yet dreading that time will also erode the memory of us.](http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s640x640/sh0.08/e35/15056558_1875954442636845_1800260268245123072_n.jpg?x45166 "[k a r m a ]I am in between this space between love and hate, between wanting time to heal all wounds yet dreading that time will also erode the memory of us.")
Where is the like button to this? XD
haha thank you. you re too kind!
you can +1 it on Google, tweet or Facebook share it :) Support support :)
HAHAHHAAH
:)
Nice one!! But is all the information shown are true?
Thanks Wai Wai!
Most of it is! :)
this is epic!!!
Thanks Edwin :)
a very sincere and humble girl. a girl who like to do house chores even with high educations. i will help if i hav the available sourcse. wish to be your friend.
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